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Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful dinner.



That started from this tropic port,
aboard a tiny skimmer.



The mate was a mighty crooked man,



the skipper his uncle.



Five passengers set sail that day,
for a three hour debacle, a three hour debacle…
The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.



If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
the Minnow would be lost; the Minnow would be lost.
The ship took ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,



with Gilligan, the Skipper too,



the Millionaire, and his Wife,



the Movie Star,



the Professor



and Mary Ann,



and Mary Ann,



and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan's Isle.



Sneaky music plays...
(Canned Laughter)



(Canned nervous laughter)



Skipper: Hey good buddy! Why don't you take these girls down to the swimming hole and teach 'em how to be as weird looking as you are! I imagine you won't meet anyone along the way, as we're the only ones ON this island, and we're never freaking rescued.



Gilligan: Bu-wa-wa-wa-WA!? A hot pirate! Mary Ann(1)! Ginger! Save me! Do that thing you guys do every week. No, honey. Arch your back. Okay, there you go. Mmmn.



Gilligan: Aw, man. She must read my blog or something. What, does she get wi-fi on her boat? She's messing it up, too. KARATE HANDS, PIRATE LADY.



Native: *Click* *Clickclickclick!* UGH!!!
(Canned laughter)



Gilligan: Oh, no! Now we have hot natives to deal with... Why is everyone so hot? what is this, Gilligan's Island the Porn?



Mary Ann(1): Yeah, stay in the bushes! He's mine.



Ginger: He's mine! We don't have a professor to fight over, and Skipper is too old.



Gilligan: Ladies, ladies. There's enough here for the both of you. I've got all three seasons.



Skipper: Are they done swimming yet? I'm bored as tears, and I'm sick of looking at your naked ass.
Native: *Click* *Click* *Whistle* *Click*
(Canned laughter)



Gilligan: It's a hot... ugh... Whoops. Fuck. I'm heading back to camp. No swimming today, Mary Annes!



Ginger: Oh, no! He's going to get mud on my dress! Won't someone save me!



Skipper: I'll save you, Ginger!



Skipper: If I can just... Why I oughtta...



Gilligan: AAAaaaaarrrrraaaaaahhhhgggghhhhhh!



Skipper: Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

THE END.
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quba

August 2006

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